ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
