Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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