just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
