Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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