Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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