You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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