On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
