Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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