we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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