i think i have two assholes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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