I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
