weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's blow job season.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
