Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
