I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize