The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
