he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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