I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
