i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
