you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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