Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
