i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize
