Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
