If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
