May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
