When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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