if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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