I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
