Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
