Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
