How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
