If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so let's talk penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
