i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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