ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
