All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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