Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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