i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
