so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
