omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
