he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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