I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Duck Duck Cougar?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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