well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize