Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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