Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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