he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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