Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
