I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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