i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
