Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
