Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
