At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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