Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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