Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
