Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
