I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
