maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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