Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
