I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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