My nipple is on Facebook.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
