His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
