Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
