Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
